Muscle Testing

I have my muscle/nerve test thing this morning. I had pretty much no idea what I was in for. This turned out to be a good thing.

If You Expect To Take This Test In The Near Future, Read This Paragraph And No More:
To those that are going to take this test, just believe the nurse. It doesn't last forever. The shock part is not necessarily that painful. The needle part is not much worse than getting blood drawn.

If You Think You'll Never Take This Test:
This was the most painful medical procedure I've experienced in my life. Giving blood and getting your wisdom teeth pulled is nothing in comparison.

The first half is electrocution. The nurse sticks metal circles all over your leg and foot and then shocks you a lot. Some of them are not hard, and they don't really hurt. But every now and then she gives you a good bolt of lightning in your leg, and that hurts pretty bad. However, it's true that it doesn't last forever. If you grit your teeth and squeeze your eyes shut, you might get through it with just a few whimpers.

The second half is getting a needle poked in your leg. Not so bad, right? I mean, I've given gallons of blood to doctors. I've learned to conquer my fear of needles. But this is no ordinary needle. I'm not sure if it was a camera needle (my mom says not) or if he was just poking it around. But this needle moves. And it keeps poking deep into your muscles with an excruciating level of agony.

If you have read Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, you know that Frodo lived for a few chapters with a bit of the Ringwraith's sword tip making its way to his heart. I think the Ringwraith consulted this needle when his sword was made, because this pain is pretty much just like that.

You know the people who said this wasn't any worse than getting bloodwork done? They lied.

I bit my lip very hard, sweated, and squeezed my arms tight. I started crying a few tears of pain about midway through. The doctor stopped for a few minutes to get me tissues and let me calm down (I was on the verge of bursting into sobs, but I managed to swallow it). He asked me if I wanted to stop and I said I was fine. I did a little better through the rest of it. The last poke was in my hip, which hurt pretty bad.

In the end, I managed not to totally melt down and I limped out. I had to go get my bloodwork that the doctors wasted yesterday done again. The nurse lectured me about proper handling of a post-bloodwork arm after I asked her not to take blood from my bruised and drained arm from yesterday. I sort of wanted to say, "Bite me, please." But she wasn't being mean, she just didn't know my Experience in Bloodwork or that I had just undergone torture.

Now I am very tired.