This Week in Symptoms...

Recording this here because my medical tracking calender doesn't have enough space on it.

Thurs., the 9th - I am really swollen, so I start prednisone. This helps cut the inflammation and brings back my appetite, which had totally disappeared after the nerves of moving.

Fri., the 10th - I am feeling great all day. I get groceries. I carry them up - no problem. But I have to carry up two cases of six pack water bottles later. I lift them and think, I can't do this. This is too heavy. I shove that notion aside and try my stubborn positive thinking methods, repeating to myself, I will do this. I will be fine. There are some guys milling around the stairs to my dorm room. I almost ask them to help--my hands are really hurting now--but I chicken out. I drop the stuff by the stairs anyway and no one helps. I pick it up again with a hard time and start up the stairs. I am crying by the top because my hands feel like they are going to break. I get inside with some trouble and dump the stuff on the floor. My left arm goes completely numb and I have trouble lifting it. That arm/hand begins shaking very badly. I lie down and rest, waiting for it to pass. It is numb to the touch. I can move it, but when I do it feels disconnected from my body - like I am moving it through a cloud, or like I am watching it move but not feeling the movement. The feelings eventually pass, and by the next morning it looks a little swollen but it works fine.

Sat., the 11th - My damaged right big toe hurts after going on a walk in my running shoes.

Sun, the 12th - I wake up with my left thumb hurting badly. Over the day the pain recedes. In the evening, I begin to feel unconsciously uncomfortable. Finally I am flexing my hand and the act of straightening my fingers sends shots of extreme pain up my arm. I notice then that my hands have begun to swell and my right fingers are very agitated. I can't think of why this is happening since I am on pred. I check the air conditioning, and someone had upped it to 77. That's the only reason I can think that I am so swollen.

RA in the Working Environment

I really, really have struggled this week with figuring out how I am going to have a job with my Rhuematoid problems. The first day at Admissions, I had to do some heavy lifting. It was okay the first time, but by the second time I was gasping in pain when I put down the box. I do not really know how to explain it to a co-worker or supervisor, because I do not want to look like I am trying to throw the hard work on someone else. I hate looking or feeling weak. But the truth is I've already had at least three times where I've just been trying to open my door and I cannot get it to work and I'm nearly crying with frustration.

Because of all that, I started on my emergency medication two days ago. It has cut the inflammation enough that I feel sort of comfortable again, and it has helped bring my appetite back. I have been feeling less exhausted and more confident with it. Of course, in another week or two I will have to go off it again... but hopefully Humira will help that transition, and/or I will have a better idea of what I can and can't do and what I should or shouldn't say.